Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
