Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize