are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
