How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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