mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
