i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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