wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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