k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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