Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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