I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Oh god it's open bar.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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