matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
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