I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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