i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
