oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize
