He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
