did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I am available for nakedness
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
