I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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