She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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