So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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