I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
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how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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