come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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