I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
