You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
