Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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