he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
