I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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