My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
