For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm always down for nudity.
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