So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
