butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
