We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
