Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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