It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
