: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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