I just threw up on my dentist
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The uberlube is also flammable
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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