your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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