Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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