Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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