Yo dont text me then not text me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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