I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
