just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
