some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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