Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
