just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
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He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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