Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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