I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
