i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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