DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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