Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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