i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
