i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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