There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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