i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
