We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
