It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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