: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
