Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
