how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
