went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
