2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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