apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize