It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
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This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.