The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
