Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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