The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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