i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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