we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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