I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
