:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
